A few years ago, my boss at the CCSAI introduced me to this concept called The Four Agreements. Basically they’re four rules to live your life by that will help you achieve happiness. I don’t subscribe to the theory these four agreements will lead you to happiness but they are good rules especially when you’re dealing with a problem at work or a family situation.
The Four Agreements are:
- Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
- Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
- Don’t make assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
- Always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Really, there’s nothing revolutionary about these but how often do you make an assumption about what someone will say so you don’t say it outloud. How about when someone calls you a name or really attacks you instilling self-doubt. That’s just a reflection of their reality – it doesn’t have to be yours.
Those are the two “easy” ones for me. Being impeccable with your word is the tough one because it’s so easy to talk trash about your co-worker who doesn’t pull their weight, etc., etc.
Not to stray off-topic, but if you do have a co-worker who doesn’t pull their weight, try loving them and I think you’ll find they’ll come around and start performing better and I bet they’ll think the world of you at the same time. It can be tough, I know, but it’s worth it.
The book is an easy read and lots of reviews I’ve read suggest it’s changed their lives. It will probably open your eyes to some simple concepts you can institute in your life right away that will help you be happier but this is not the be all and end all of life happiness.
That being said, I do keep the four agreements on my bulliten board at work and whenever someone tries to make me feel bad because their own reality sucks, I just remember not to take it personally. And it’s easy not to take it personally because I know I’m always trying my best. See how they work together!
